Dave Tompkins :: Teaching :: profQUOTES :: CS 350 S13
My profQUOTES, as quoted in mathNEWS (good and bad).
Volume 122, No. 2, May 31, 2013
- "I'm so easy to derail. Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, my baby... hey, wanna see some baby pictures?"
- "You love it, you want to marry it, that's how much you love your code."
- "All the kids these days die on peanut butter."
- That's like a rearview mirror, doesn't really matter." [you can drive without it but it's better if you have one]
- That's pretty much the life of a cat. You sleep, you eat, you sleep, you die."
- "If you have all these registers it's like mo' money, mo' problems."
- "If you see someone screaming at Starbucks, they're volatile. That's where the word comes from."
- "We're going to talk about different methods for using the bathroom today."
- "Consumers are people who like to eat the bread. I'm obviously a consumer."
- Student: "Where do we find that?"
Prof: "Uh... on da google?"
- "You could wait for more toilet paper, but the door's locked, so that's not going to happen."
- "This is our werewolf killing box."
- "Chopsticks are the way to go now, according to Wikipedia."
Volume 122, No. 3, June 14, 2013
- Student: "So what if we fork again?"
Prof: "Oh yeah, right after you fork you wanna fork again."
- "I'll do that again, you obviously didn't think it was as cool as I did."
- Prof: "Rhymes with 'flallock'."
- Student: "What if we quote you on that?"
Prof: "You better quote me saying 'don't quote me on that'"
- "I'll work on my Pacman sound effects. Wokka wokka wokka wokka wokka."
- "Like you guys beat lizards? I don't know what you do."
- "When they said 'don't divide by zero', they never told you 'or else I'll kill you!'"
- "Are you allowed to kill your child? Are you allowed to kill your parent? You decide."
- "Cuz I'm old. That's pretty much the reason."
Volume 122, No. 4, June 28, 2013
- "For those of you with only 5 friends or less, this is awesome."
- "So it goes from ooooooooo (0x00000000) to seven-fuff-uff (0x7FFFFFFF)"
- "Go look at the segmentation on an Intel chip. You'll need to take a shower, it's so icky."
Volume 122, No. 5, July 12, 2013
- "Yesterday I went to the bank to negotiate my mortgage. That's about as grown up as you get kids."
- Prof: "Knock knock"
Prof: "Interrupting cow! MOOOO!"
- "I rarely teach; I lecture. I hope you learn, and you hope I teach."
- "Look at this diagram. See, it's not something I made up."
- "If it's too damn high, you ain't doing a good job."
- "My OS prof, who was quite a hoot, went to Africa to shoot rhinos or something."
- "Do you want your operating system to be a communist?"
- "Maybe by the time I retire I'll explain concepts so hard it'll make a nose bleed."
- "It would be awesome if I got a nose bleed."
- "I think I feel like some of your kernels, because I just want to crash."
- "How clean are your friends? You might want to evict your dirty friends."
- "I don't know if 'accessing' your friends is the right word."
Volume 122, No. 6, July 26, 2013
- "How many of you have used 'nice' before? Oh look, only one nice guy in the room."
- "I couldn't find a good Wikipedia article about it, so I might have made it up"
- "I've got a big drawer of stuff that I no longer have drivers for."
- "I've written drivers for devices and I know the sequence of events that will crash the operating system."
- "I'm all grown up, in theory."
- "I guess you don't really date, a better analogy is a job interview."
- Student: "Mini Kit-Kat or a Toblerone?"
Prof: "Watcha want. I've got a Costco membership."
- "I didn't think touch worked that way. It's been a while since I touched something"
- "[swears]. You already did my teacher evaluations, so it's OK."
- "Now if a pretty girl comes over, I don't fix her disk drive. I learned my lesson."
- "If you wanna be safe, fill up your memory with pictures of your cat."