Success Finds You When You're Focused on Others
When people ask about success, how to achieve it, how to measure it, or how to sustain it, I often pause. Not because I lack thoughts to share, but because our discussion of success usually misses the main point.
In my experience, success isn't something you chase. It's something that happens when you care deeply, show up consistently, and dedicate yourself to helping others thrive.
I never set out to earn awards or recognition. When they do come, I find them humbling, but they aren't my main goal. The real reward has always been in the relationships I build over time, the student who finds their voice, the colleague who feels supported, and the team that grows stronger together. These moments are truly what matter.
What I've learned is that when you focus on service, being present, generous, and committed, opportunities tend to come your way. Not because you pursued them, but because people recognize your sincerity. They remember how you made them feel. They trust you.
Being open-minded and attentive also helps. Some of the most meaningful projects I've participated in started with small conversations or unexpected invitations. When you're genuinely engaged in your work and the people around you, you begin to notice these quiet opportunities. And when you act on them, not for personal gain but because you see a chance to contribute, things start to unfold in ways you couldn't have predicted.
Of course, there are challenges. There are long days, disappointments, and moments of doubt. But when your motivation is rooted in care rather than ambition, it becomes easier to stay grounded. You're not working for applause, you're working because you believe in what you're doing and who you're doing it for.
Ultimately, success isn't a destination you reach. It's a reflection of the positive impact you've had on others. Often, it appears quietly, through a thank-you note, a former student's achievement, or a team that feels stronger because of your contribution.
So, if you're wondering how to succeed, maybe start by asking: Who can I support today? The rest usually comes together naturally.
Between Principle and Compassion: The Dilemma of Policy Exceptions
The tension between strictly following policies and making exceptions for deserving cases is a common ethical challenge in governance, education, workplaces, and beyond. Policies are created to ensure fairness, consistency, and transparency. They establish a framework that treats everyone equally, reducing bias and favoritism. When rules are applied consistently, people can trust that decisions are unbiased, which is crucial for maintaining institutional integrity and public trust.
However, real-life situations often have complexities that strict policies can't fully predict. Sometimes, applying a rule rigidly can lead to unfair results, such as penalizing someone who faced extraordinary circumstances or denying a chance to someone with great potential who doesn't meet a specific requirement. In these moments, the natural human instinct to empathize and consider context can conflict with the cold, impersonal nature of policy enforcement.
Making exceptions can be morally compelling, especially when strict adherence to policy might lead to outcomes that seem unfair or inhumane. However, adding discretion into decision-making also introduces notable risks. It can weaken the perceived legitimacy of the policy framework, particularly if exceptions are granted inconsistently or without clear, transparent reasons. This erosion of trust can be especially harmful in institutional settings, where stakeholders depend on consistent and unbiased processes. Additionally, exceptions can unintentionally reinforce systemic biases if decision-makers unconsciously favor individuals who are similar to themselves or who are better at navigating informal influence channels.
To address this tension, institutions might consider creating policies that include structured flexibility, such as formal appeals processes, contextual review mechanisms, or criteria for compassionate consideration. These strategies allow for nuance without compromising fairness, as they make the conditions for exceptions clear and open to oversight. Ultimately, the challenge is not just whether to make exceptions, but how to do so in ways that maintain both ethical integrity and institutional credibility. This demands a commitment to transparency, accountability, and continuous reflection on the values that policies aim to serve.
Imagine a Kinder World
Imagine a world where everyone acts with integrity, fairness, and kindness—not because of laws or fear of punishment, but because they genuinely believe it is right. If we embraced two simple principles, ethics and the Golden Rule, "treat others the way you want others to treat you", the world would improve. Ethics guide our choices, helping us distinguish right from wrong. They foster trust, fairness, and accountability in society and at work. Ethical behavior in business ensures fairness, while in governance, it promotes justice and transparency. On a personal level, ethics strengthen relationships through honesty and respect. The Golden Rule is a universal principle that fosters empathy and kindness.
Conflicts decrease, cooperation increases, and communities become more inclusive when people follow it. Whether in relationships, business, at work, or global affairs, treating others with dignity and fairness sets the foundation for a more compassionate world. If ethics and the Golden Rule guided every decision, war, corruption, and inequality would give way to peace, trust, and justice. It all starts with individual choices. When enough people lead by example, kindness and integrity spread, shaping a better future for all. These are not abstract ideals but practical forces for change. Committing to ethical behavior and treating others with the respect we desire can create a more just, peaceful, and cooperative world—one decision at a time. Imagine….
The Art of Balance
Life, in its most fulfilling form, is a delicate dance of balance. It’s not about perfection or rigid schedules, but about harmony—understanding when to push forward and when to pause. Balance is the art of aligning our responsibilities with our values, our ambitions with our well-being, and our relationships with our personal growth. It’s a lifelong practice, not a destination, requiring constant reflection and adjustment.
One of the most challenging yet essential balances is between work and family. Our careers often demand time, energy, and focus, but so do our loved ones. True success isn’t just measured by professional achievements, but by the quality of our relationships and the memories we create with those we care about. Setting boundaries, being present, and prioritizing meaningful moments can help us honor both our professional and personal lives.
Equally important is the balance between caring for others and caring for ourselves. Many of us are natural givers—parents, teachers, friends, caregivers—but we cannot pour from an empty cup. Self-care is not selfish; it’s a necessity. Whether it’s taking time to rest, pursuing a hobby, or simply breathing, nurturing ourselves enables us to show up more fully for others. Students also face the challenge of balancing their studies with enjoying life.
While academic success is important, so are joy, exploration, and connection. Learning occurs not only in classrooms and textbooks but also through conversations, experiences, and quiet moments of reflection. A well-rounded life encompasses both diligence and delight.
There are other balances we often overlook: between ambition and fulfillment, between planning for the future and living in the present, and between digital engagement and real-world connections. Each of these requires mindfulness and intentionality. When we strive for balance, we cultivate resilience, clarity, and a deeper sense of purpose.
The Undergraduate Journey
Undergraduate studies serve diverse objectives beyond acquiring knowledge in a specific subject matter. While mastering the content of one's chosen field is undoubtedly important, the actual value of an undergraduate education lies in the holistic development it fosters.
One key aspect of undergraduate studies is the development of soft skills. These include communication, teamwork, problem-solving, and critical thinking. Engaging in group projects, presentations, and discussions helps students refine their skills to articulate ideas clearly, collaborate effectively with peers, and approach challenges with a creative and analytical mindset. These skills are invaluable in any career and contribute significantly to an individual's overall competence and adaptability in the workplace.
Moreover, undergraduate studies encourage students to explore learning beyond the context of their courses. This can involve participating in extracurricular activities, joining clubs and organizations, or pursuing internships and research opportunities. Such experiences broaden students' horizons, expose them to new perspectives, and foster a lifelong love for learning. They also provide practical insights and hands-on experience that complement academic knowledge, making students more well-rounded and prepared for real-world scenarios. Reflecting on one's future and objectives in life is a crucial component of undergraduate education.
Learning to work with different professors who have varying teaching styles is also a valuable aspect of undergraduate studies. Each professor brings a unique approach to teaching, and adapting to these differences helps students become more flexible and open-minded learners. It also teaches them to navigate diverse professional environments and build effective relationships with colleagues and supervisors.
Additionally, undergraduate studies provide opportunities for networking and building connections that can be beneficial throughout one's career. Engaging with peers, faculty, and industry professionals can lead to valuable collaborations, mentorships, and job opportunities. These connections can serve as a support system and open doors to various career paths and advancements.
Undergraduate studies are a unique opportunity to unleash your creativity, explore new interests, and embrace the joy of learning. This is the time to try new things, whether learning and diving into unfamiliar subjects, participating in innovative projects, or engaging in artistic endeavors. Don't be afraid to take risks and step out of your comfort zone, as these experiences can lead to unexpected discoveries and personal growth. Remember, the sky is your limit—use this period to dream big, challenge yourself, and pave the way for a fulfilling and prosperous future.
Dealing with Disappointments
Dealing with disappointments is an inevitable part of life, especially during your undergraduate years. These years are filled with new experiences, challenges, and opportunities, making it natural to face setbacks along the way. The key to navigating these disappointments lies in how you respond to them.
First and foremost, recognizing your feelings is essential. Disappointment can evoke various emotions, from sadness to frustration. Permit yourself to experience these emotions without harsh judgment. Suppressing your feelings or acting as though they don't exist can increase stress and anxiety. Instead, allow yourself the freedom to process what you're going through. Speak with a friend, journal your thoughts, or participate in an activity that facilitates reflection.
Once you've acknowledged your feelings, try to reframe the situation. Disappointments often come with valuable lessons. Ask yourself what you can learn from the experience. Did you discover a new area where you need to improve? Did you gain insight into what truly matters to you? By shifting your perspective, you can transform a setback into an opportunity for growth. Remember, every challenge you face is a step toward becoming more resilient and adaptable.
It is also crucial to maintain a sense of balance. While it is important to strive for your goals, it is equally important to take care of your well-being. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it is spending time with friends, pursuing a hobby, or simply taking a walk, these moments of self-care can help you recharge and gain a fresh perspective.
Lastly, don't hesitate to seek support. Whether it's from professors, advisors, or peers, there are people around you who can provide guidance and encouragement. Sometimes, sharing your struggles with others can offer new insights and remind you that you're not alone in your journey.
Keep in mind that disappointments do not signify a dead end; instead, they are integral to your journey. View them as opportunities for learning, growth, and building resilience. Your undergraduate years are meant for exploration and discovery, with every experience—both good and bad—playing a role in your personal and academic growth. Continue advancing with confidence and a receptive attitude, aware that each step you take brings you nearer to your aspirations.
Support Over Competition
Students should focus on supporting each other rather than competing against one another. When students work together, they create a positive and encouraging environment where everyone can thrive. Instead of seeing classmates as competitors, students can view them as teammates who can help each other succeed. This kind of support can lead to better learning experiences and stronger friendships.
Students need to compare themselves to their past selves, not to others. Everyone has their own pace and unique set of skills. By looking at their progress over time, students can see how much they have grown and what they have achieved. This self-reflection helps them stay motivated and focused on their personal goals, rather than getting discouraged by comparing themselves to others.
Accepting that everyone is different is key to creating a supportive learning environment. Some students may excel in specific subjects while others may struggle, and that's okay. Recognizing and respecting these differences allows students to appreciate their strengths and those of their peers. This mindset fosters a sense of community and collaboration, where students can learn from each other and celebrate each other's successes.
Students can create a network of help and encouragement when they support each other. This can be especially beneficial during challenging times, such as preparing for exams or working on complex projects. By sharing resources, tips, and advice, students can lighten the load and make learning more enjoyable and effective.
Moreover, collaboration among students can lead to innovative ideas and solutions. When diverse minds come together, they can approach problems from different angles and develop creative ways to tackle them. This teamwork enhances learning and prepares students for real-world situations where cooperation and collective problem-solving are essential.
Encouraging a culture of support rather than competition also helps build empathy and understanding. Students learn to appreciate their peers' unique strengths and perspectives, fostering a sense of community and belonging. This positive environment can boost confidence and motivation, making the educational journey more rewarding for everyone involved.
Lessons from Adversity
Turning a bad experience into a learning opportunity is a valuable life skill that can help us navigate the ups and downs of life more effectively. When we encounter difficult or challenging situations, it's natural to feel frustrated, disappointed, or defeated. However, by shifting our perspective and viewing these experiences as opportunities for growth, we can transform them into something positive and constructive.
One way to convert a bad experience into a learning experience is to reflect on what happened and identify the lessons that can be learned. This involves asking ourselves questions like: What went wrong? What could I have done differently? What did I learn about myself or others? By analyzing the situation and extracting valuable insights, we can better understand our actions and decisions and use this knowledge to improve future outcomes. Embracing the idea that life is tough and full of challenges can help us build resilience. When we accept that setbacks and difficulties are a natural part of life, we become better equipped to handle them. Instead of viewing bad experiences as failures, we can see them as stepping stones on our personal growth and development journey. This mindset allows us to approach challenges with curiosity and determination, rather than fear and avoidance. The ability to turn bad experiences into learning opportunities is a powerful tool that can enhance our overall well-being. It enables us to grow from our mistakes, develop new skills, and become more adaptable in adversity. By cultivating this skill, we can navigate life's challenges with greater confidence and resilience, ensuring that no experience is wasted and every setback becomes a chance to learn and grow.
Stay healthy and positive, as a balanced mind and body are essential for overcoming life's challenges.
You Belong
Feeling like you don't belong can extend beyond academic settings and touch various aspects of life. Whether in your career, social circles, or personal endeavors, belonging is a fundamental human need. However, it's important to remember that your worth and identity are not defined by others but by your choices and actions.
In your study program community, it can be particularly challenging when you see others performing better. But remember, your worth isn't defined by comparison. Everyone has their own pace and journey; your progress is valuable and significant. You have the power to choose where you belong. Your unique perspective and skills make you an integral part of your program. You define yourself, no one else does. Your worth is measured by your dedication, hard work, and the progress you make. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem.
In your career, you might encounter colleagues who seem to excel effortlessly, making you question your own abilities. But your professional journey is unique. Your skills, experiences, and contributions are valuable. You define your path and success. Embrace your strengths and continue to grow, knowing that you belong in any professional community you choose to join.
Socially, it can be challenging to feel accepted, especially in new environments or among different groups. It's natural to feel out of place sometimes, but remember that you can choose your social circles. Surround yourself with people who appreciate and support you. Your personality, values, and kindness make you a cherished community member. Ultimately, you have the power to define your place in the world. Your journey is uniquely yours, and every step you take and contribution is invaluable. Forge ahead with confidence, believe in your potential, and remember that you alone shape your path and the communities you choose to be part of.
The Power of Ethical Engineering
As future software engineers and computer scientists, you are not just learning how to build systems; you are learning how to shape the world. The tools, platforms, and algorithms you create will influence how people live, communicate, work, and make decisions. That’s why it’s essential to look beyond the technical aspects and engage deeply with the ethical, social, and global implications of your work.
Software is not neutral. It reflects the assumptions, values, and priorities of those who create it. Every design decision, such as what data to collect, how to structure a model, and what to optimize, has consequences. A system that recommends content can influence public opinion. A predictive model can reinforce bias. A user interface can either empower users or exclude them. These issues are not just edge cases; they are central to the role of technology in society today.
In today’s world, software is more than just a tool; it’s a force shaping economies, democracies, and everyday human experiences. As engineers, you’re not just solving technical problems; you’re making decisions that impact how people live, what they see, what they believe, and the opportunities available to them. These choices carry ethical weight. Even decisions that seem purely technical, like how to organize a dataset or define a success metric, can have serious repercussions. For instance, a facial recognition system trained on non-diverse data can misidentify people, causing real-world harm. Likewise, a navigation app that favors speed over neighborhood safety can put users in danger. These aren’t just hypothetical scenarios; they’re happening right now.
Ethics in software development go beyond simply avoiding harm; they involve actively designing for justice, inclusion, and human dignity. It recognizes that users are not just data points or abstractions, but individuals with histories, vulnerabilities, and rights. It demands asking tough questions: Who benefits from this system? Who could be harmed? What voices are missing from the design process? Are we creating something that genuinely serves humanity, or just something that scales? This kind of thinking demands more than just technical skill. It requires moral imagination, humility, and a willingness to listen to perspectives beyond your own. It involves reading outside your discipline and engaging with philosophy, sociology, history, and the lived experiences of those impacted by technology. It means viewing your work not only as a career but as a contribution to the broader world.
You are entering a field filled with great power and potential. Use it wisely. Build not only what is possible but also what is right. In the end, the most impactful engineers are not just those who write the most elegant code; they are those who understand the world their code will inhabit and who choose to make that world more just, more humane, and more inclusive.
Quiet Strength in the Face of Injustice
Have you ever been in a situation where you felt outraged and upset, but couldn’t confront the person? Why? Because you couldn’t prove anything, and they could manipulate the system and get away with it?
These moments can leave a lasting mark. You feel the injustice deeply—your instincts scream that something is wrong, but the lack of tangible proof keeps your voice quiet. It’s not about fear or power; it’s about the maddening gap between what you know and what you can demonstrate. When someone uses ambiguity or technicalities to avoid accountability, it can feel like reality itself is being twisted right before your eyes.
What’s often overlooked in these situations is the emotional toll they take. The frustration, the helplessness, the internal conflict—they all build up. But this is where emotional resilience becomes essential. Resilience doesn’t mean ignoring what happened or pretending it didn’t hurt. It means learning how to carry the weight without letting it crush you. It’s about finding ways to process the anger without letting it consume your peace. Sometimes that means journaling, talking to someone you trust, or simply giving yourself permission to feel your emotions without judgment.
Over time, resilience also involves choosing how you respond. You may not be able to reveal the truth right away, but you can decide not to let the experience define you. You can opt to become sharper, more aware, and more grounded. And perhaps most importantly, you can maintain your integrity—even when others don’t. That quiet strength, that refusal to be drawn into the same games, is a form of justice in itself.
Staying Motivated Amid Unfairness
Life is inherently unfair. This is a reality many of us come to accept over time. Our paths are not always smooth, and our responsibilities can be overwhelming. Yet, we shoulder these burdens, driven by a desire to contribute meaningfully to society, our communities, and those we mentor or teach. This sense of purpose often keeps us going, even when the going gets tough. However, there are moments when unfairness becomes too much to bear. These moments shake us to our core, the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back." One such instance is witnessing someone avoid their responsibilities for years, only to be rewarded by reassigning their tasks to someone else, with an expectation of completion in a much shorter timeframe. This scenario is not just frustrating; it feels like a betrayal of hard work and accountability principles. How are we supposed to accept such apparent unfairness? This question eats away at our sense of justice and fairness. Seeing someone get away with not doing their job and then being rewarded for it by passing their tasks to someone else can be demoralizing. It undermines the value we place on diligence and responsibility. Despite these challenges, it's crucial to find ways to stay motivated. Remind yourself why you chose to take on your responsibilities. Your commitment to your community, society, and students is a testament to your character and values. This inner motivation can help you stay focused and driven. Talk to colleagues, friends, or mentors who understand your situation. Sharing your frustrations can provide emotional relief and offer new perspectives on how to cope. Dear myself, It's essential to recognize your limits. While contributing to society is noble, taking care of yourself is also essential. Setting boundaries can help prevent burnout and maintain your well-being. Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This can help you stay positive and motivated, even with larger disappointments. Life's unfairness can be disheartening, especially when it seems that those who avoid their responsibilities are rewarded. However, by focusing on your purpose, seeking support, setting boundaries, celebrating small wins, and advocating for change, you can navigate these challenges and stay motivated. Remember, your dedication and hard work are valuable, and they make a difference, even when it feels like the odds are stacked against you. Stay resilient and continue to contribute in ways that align with your values and goals.
Facing Rejection with Resilience
Dealing with rejection can be challenging, but it's an inevitable part of life that everyone experiences at some point. Rejection can feel like a personal failure, whether it's at work, in your studies, or in relationships. However, it's important to remember that rejection does not reflect your worth or abilities. The first step in dealing with professional rejection is to acknowledge your feelings. It's natural to feel disappointed, frustrated, or even angry. Allow yourself to process these emotions rather than suppressing them. Once you've acknowledged your feelings, try to reframe the rejection as an opportunity for growth. Ask for feedback to understand why you were rejected and use this information to improve your skills and performance. Networking and seeking mentorship can also provide support and open new doors. Remember, many successful people have faced rejection before achieving their goals.
Academic rejection, such as not getting into your desired school or failing an important exam, can be disheartening. It is crucial to maintain perspective and recognize that one setback does not define your entire academic journey. Reflect on your study habits and identify areas for improvement. Seeking help from teachers, tutors, or peers can provide valuable insights and support. Consider exploring alternative paths or opportunities that align with your interests and strengths. Persistence and resilience are key; many renowned scholars and professionals have faced academic rejection but achieved great success.
Rejection in relationships, whether romantic or platonic, can be deeply painful. It's important to practice self-compassion and avoid blaming yourself. Understand that rejection often says more about the other person's needs and circumstances than your worth. Take time to heal and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can offer comfort and perspective. Reflect on the experience to learn more about yourself and what you want in future relationships. Remember, every rejection brings you closer to finding connections that are truly right for you.
Some universal strategies for dealing with rejection exist across all areas of life. Develop a growth mindset by viewing rejection as a learning experience rather than a failure. Stay positive and focus on your strengths and achievements. Set realistic goals and celebrate small victories along the way. Practice mindfulness and self-care to manage stress and maintain emotional balance. Rejection is a common experience and does not diminish your value or potential.
In the big picture of life, rejection is just one part. It might seem harsh at first, but adding it to your experiences helps you grow stronger. Each rejection shapes you into a more resilient person. Embrace these moments because they push you towards your true potential. They turn setbacks into steps forward and failures into foundations for future success.