1 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:39,920 Good afternoon. I'm going to be giving to you my 2 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:45,840 theory on the true origins of William Shakespeare and Hamlet. 3 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:55,440 Okay, you all remember the movie Star Trek VI: Undiscovered 4 00:00:55,440 --> 00:01:01,600 Country, in which Chancellor Gorkon of the Klingon Empire 5 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:08,240 said to Captain Spock of the Enterprise, and I quote, "You 6 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:13,720 have never experienced Shakespeare until you have read 7 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:23,040 him in the original Klingon." Now, of course there's the 8 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:30,160 famous quotation "to be or not to be" in Hamlet. The Klingon 9 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:35,760 Hamlet is problematic, because the Klingon Hamlet does not have 10 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:46,600 the "to be" verb, like Hebrew. So, one says the equivalent of 11 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:55,440 "Warrior I" to mean "I am a warrior". Now of course, we all 12 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,600 know that there's the Klingon dictionary that gives, that 13 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:07,800 describes the entire language. So, how does one say Hamlet's 14 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:15,720 famous quotation "to be or not to be" in Klingon. Now, I'm not 15 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:21,640 sure of my pronunciation but in the standard North American 16 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:34,520 accent: "taH pagh taHbe". Now, note that Hamlet, dealing with 17 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:41,320 the political assassination of the head of a state and a family 18 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:49,600 and restoring the family's honor by revenge, is quintessentially 19 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:54,600 Klingon in flavor. It captures the essence of being Klingon. 20 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:03,160 Now, there's this famous book that you can buy at Amazon for 21 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:15,520 example, The Klingon Hamlet, and this book gives, side by side, 22 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:26,640 the original- I mean, one page, the odd page, in the original 23 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:32,680 Klingon, and then in the corresponding even page, that 24 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:38,200 page's direct translation into English. The English version 25 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:42,800 that we are familiar with if you studied Klingon in high school. 26 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:51,000 Okay, now, of course, how did this happen? How did it happen? 27 00:03:53,080 --> 00:04:00,240 I mean, the book claims that Shakespeare was a Klingon. So 28 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:08,040 how did it happen that all these years, we here on Earth, thought 29 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:14,640 that Hamlet was written in the 17th century in England by one 30 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:20,400 English human named William Shakespeare, and not by a 31 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:25,480 Klingon in Klingon? I mean, until very recently we hadn't 32 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:34,560 even heard of Klingon! Well, the introduction book makes it clear 33 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:40,160 that it was a massive delusion. That introduction, written by a 34 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:44,680 Terran working at the Klingon Bureau of External Relations, 35 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:52,440 claims that a massive fraudulent rewriting of history is 36 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:57,800 responsible for Terrans, that's the Klingon name for Earth, 37 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:06,360 believed that a 17th century English human named William 38 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:12,000 Shakespeare wrote Hamlet in English from his imagination. 39 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:20,440 Now, this is a nice theory in the book, but to me this is 40 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:28,200 pure, utter poppycock, nonsense. The historical records of 41 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:34,320 Shakespeare's existence in the 17th century and the continual 42 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:40,080 showings of Hamlet since the 17th century are too pervasive. 43 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:46,680 No massive hoax like that suggested by the Introduction 44 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:50,120 could have succeeded because there were just too many people 45 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,200 who knew 46 00:05:53,280 --> 00:06:02,800 the facts. So, I offer a different theory. A theory in 47 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:07,520 the grand tradition of scientific, historical, and 48 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:14,520 forensic investigation. An alternative theory of how the 49 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:21,720 original Klingon works of the Klingon named Wil'yam Shex'pir 50 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:28,080 were translated in the 17th century into 17th century 51 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:34,440 English and came to be known as the work of a 17th century 52 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:41,720 Englishman named William Shakespeare. Are you ready for this? 53 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:51,000 The theory, the basic theory is that Shakespeare is a 54 00:06:51,000 --> 00:07:00,480 Klingon, that the man we know as William Shakespeare was actually 55 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:07,680 a 23rd century, that is by Earth reckoning, Klingon named Wil'yam 56 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:15,680 Shex'pir who was surgically altered to look human. He went 57 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:20,800 back in time to the 17th century England and proceeded to 58 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:26,040 translate the Klingon plays he had written himself into 59 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:36,000 English. Now, I maintain that this history is more plausible 60 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:40,080 than that of the book introduction because it fits 61 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:48,200 known facts from Star Trek canon and other writings, and it does 62 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:55,200 not require a belief in a massive perfect rewriting of 63 00:07:55,200 --> 00:08:00,600 Earth history, leaving no trace whatsoever of the original 64 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:05,720 history. I mean, it's very difficult to pull off a hoax like that, 65 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,760 because there's always someone who can trick you up. 66 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:19,200 Now, now, to explain this in detail I need some vocabulary, 67 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:27,920 two terms: EK and LK. EK, the early James T. Kirk during 68 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:32,760 his captaincy of the five year mission of the U.S.S. 69 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:42,280 Enterprise, NCC 1701. And then LK, the late Kirk, James T. Kirk 70 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:47,400 during his admirality and subsequent demotion to captain, 71 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:53,600 occurring after the completion of the five year mission of the 72 00:08:53,640 --> 00:09:04,080 early Kirk. Now, we know that Klingons can travel in time, as 73 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:11,040 documented in Hambly's Star Trek: Ishmael, 23rd century 74 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:18,000 Klingons, contemporary with the early Kirk, are capable of time travel. 75 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:26,080 Now, of course, there's the problem with changing history. 76 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:33,240 Whenever time travel results in changing history, those who did not 77 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:38,520 travel in time remember only the new history. The original 78 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:45,120 history simply no longer exists. Only perpetrators of this change 79 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,000 are able to remember the old history and observe differences, 80 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:58,920 as documented in Trials and Tribble-ations in Deep Space 81 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:07,280 Nine. Now, we all know the famous picture of William Shakespeare. 82 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:17,480 This traditional picture shows someone with an extremely high 83 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:25,120 forehead, like mine, long thought to be the result of male 84 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:31,560 pattern baldness, which I suffer from. So the question is, how 85 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:36,720 could a Klingon who normally has a bumpy forehead, end up 86 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:42,800 appearing totally human with a smooth forehead? Now, we know 87 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:48,560 from Star Trek history of at least two possibilities. 88 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:57,200 The first possibility is that Wil'yam Shex'pir could be a 89 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:02,400 descendant of the victims of the aborted attempt to produce super 90 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:07,040 augmented Klingons that is documented in the Star Trek 91 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:12,840 Enterprise episode Affliction and Divergence. These super 92 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,760 augments were created accidentally by altering the 93 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:24,000 normal Klingon DNA with DNA taken from embryos of human augments 94 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:33,560 created by Dr. Arik Soong. Now, the second possibility, simply 95 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:38,920 that the forehead could easily have resulted from plastic surgery 96 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:44,880 to smoothen the normal Klingon bumpy forehead, which is the 97 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:49,320 source of the epithet "turtle head" flung by xenophobic 98 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:59,080 Terrans to refer to Klingons. Now, compare this traditional 99 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:04,640 picture of William Shakespeare with the portrait of Wil'yam 100 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:10,960 Shex'pir painted by the famous Klingon painter yaHel DawiD, 101 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:16,480 showing Shex'pir's bumpy-- Shex'pir's bumpy forehead. 102 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:24,880 I mean, there it is! And the thing is you can see how a little bit 103 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:32,320 of plastic surgery would get from this to the traditional 104 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:42,760 portrait shown, seen of William Shakespeare. Now... in fact, 105 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:48,040 we know of at least one Klingon altered this way by plastic 106 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:55,120 surgery. The Klingon spy Arne Darvin, from the Star Trek old 107 00:12:55,360 --> 00:13:00,680 series episode "The Trouble with Tribbles" and the Star Trek Deep 108 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:05,560 Space Nine episode "Trials and Tribble-ations", underwent this 109 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:11,400 surgery to pass as a human and to infiltrate Star Fleet 110 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:18,320 headquarters. Now, in either case, there would be 111 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:23,160 considerable shame among Klingons about these Klingons 112 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:30,840 that looked like these hated, cowardly humans. Yuck. Indeed, 113 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:36,200 in "Trials and Tribble-ations", when O'Brien saw surgically 114 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:40,720 altered Klingons for the first time and asked his Klingon 115 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:45,880 crewmate Worf, if they were the result of some kind of genetic 116 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:51,880 engineering, Worf replied with a growl, "We do not discuss it 117 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,360 with outsiders!" 118 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:05,840 Now, Klingon writers... Klingons are not writers, they're warriors! 119 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:12,560 Okay. And in fact, I mean, being a warrior was the 120 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:19,200 most important thing about-- most important occupation during 121 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:24,400 the Klingon society of the early Kirk years. A Klingon such as 122 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:31,280 Wil'yam Shex'pir, with literary talent, with no desire to be a 123 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:37,120 warrior, only writing about being a warrior and not being a 124 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:43,400 warrior, would have been shunned and ostracized, if not eliminated altogether. 125 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:49,280 Now, only later, during the later Kirk 126 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:53,840 years, did Klingons come to accept and even appreciate 127 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:58,360 Shex'pir and his writing. However, by then, the 128 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:03,160 genetically altered Klingon soldiers had probably died off. 129 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:08,640 One never saw a smooth-foreheaded Klingon during 130 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,560 the later Kirk period. 131 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,160 Now, so there would be double shame here. 132 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:21,800 Clearly, later Kirk era and later Klingons would be 133 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:27,200 ashamed of both the genetically altered Klingons and the Klingon 134 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:32,840 society's past disdain for literary talent, and they would 135 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:36,560 thus resort to disinformation at the Bureau of External 136 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,880 Relations, feeding the revised history to the human Terran 137 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:47,880 writers in their employ. Now, my theory suggests that Wil'yam 138 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:53,520 Shex'pir was a contemporary of the early Kirk period. 139 00:15:54,360 --> 00:16:01,280 The literary Shex'pir found Klingon society so inhospitable that he 140 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:06,160 had the plastic surgery, not to be a spy or even a smooth-headed 141 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:12,120 soldier, but to be able to leave the Klingon homeworld Qo'noS and 142 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:17,120 blend into Terran society, as a writer. 143 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:23,680 Now then, Shex'pir, 144 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:30,680 traveled in time to Earth's 17th century. There he brushed up on 145 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:35,320 English, mainly Federation Standard that he had already 146 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:40,800 learned, created and assumed the identity of William Shakespeare, 147 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:46,640 and began translating to English, the works that he had 148 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:55,240 written in Klingon. Now, why 17th century England? Well, 149 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:01,160 England was almost the only place on Earth, in which a 150 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:05,080 variation of Federation Standard, which he knew, was 151 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:10,640 spoken, and he would not have to learn a new language entirely 152 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:14,960 from scratch. Okay, so that's England but what about the 17th century? 153 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:20,840 Well, in the 17th century it was easy to come into 154 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:28,240 existence as an adult without anyone caring or being able to 155 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:33,520 prove that he did not exist before. And it was easy to get 156 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:37,480 forged birth certificates accepted. Remember Geoffrey 157 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,360 Chaucer's other occupation? 158 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,320 Once established as William Shakespeare, 159 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:51,560 Wil'yam Shex'pir began to translate his own works 160 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:58,080 into English and to release them one by one to a wildly approving 161 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:07,360 Elizabethan audience. So, this is my theory as to how it came to be 162 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:13,560 that William Shakespeare was actually a 23rd century Klingon 163 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:18,560 named Wil'yam Shex'pir, who was surgically altered to look 164 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:26,600 human, and then went back in time to the 17th century England 165 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:31,280 and proceeded to translate the Klingon plays he had written 166 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,880 himself, into English. 167 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:37,840 Thank you.